shirr impossible.

last week was my spring break and i have a tradition of sewing my way through spring breaks. of course, this time around i am awfully pregnant, so 23 hours straight at the sewing machine was out of the question, but i did spend at least a few hours a day working the pedals. most of the time i was fussing over pringle's quilt, but once i was on a roll sewing circles, i had some spare time. i decided that it was imperative to make a long sundress. i hopped on the internet to search for an easy sundress pattern and well, the results were a bit less than fruitful. i mean, there were a LOT of dresses, but they all seemed to be for little girls.

the dress in my imagination.

soooo...i figured that since i like to act like a five-year-old, i might as well dress like one. i used this shirred dress tutorial, which is of course modeled by a little girl. no surprise there. now i do not know about you, but i have never shirred fabric. a few months ago i discovered a shirring tutorial and bought some elastic thread. i never actually sat down to do any shirring, so the elastic thread was still hanging around in my sewing bins. i dug out a gigantic piece of cloth i bought in lesotho in 2004. clearly it was time to use this gorgeous fabric. 

i have hoarded 5 meters of this fabric for 7 years. i like it. lots.

i cut out my pieces and sewed the sides together. and then i shirred. and shirred. and shirred. and shirred. ten inches of shirring later and i had the bodice of the dress complete.

shirring.

the shirred bodice.

unfortunately when i tried on the "dress" it looked about as awesome as a potato sack. not cute. so i cut off the bottom, added more material to make it ruffly, and then reattached it. now, when viewed from the front, it is definitely a dress, but then i turn to the side and well....it does not exactly show things off in grand style. rather it makes me look like a big-bellied whale with a gigantic arse. still not cute.

lovely dress that i cannot yet wear.

of course i convinced myself that if i washed the dress, the fabric would relax and it would all be golden. sadly, no. the dress is lovely, but it is decidedly NOT maternity wear. so i will be the cutest post-prego ever, but i still gots no long dress for wearing with the little pringle ensconced in my belly. but i have grand plans. i am going to make this dress again with floppy fabric that will drop straight down below the belly, rather than using the belly as a ramp to flip out an additional three feet. it is gonna be awesome. you'll see.

shimmerama.

during the course of my life i have gone through phases of shunning everything feminine to embracing all the frills and fabulousness of being girly. interestingly, living in a small village in africa for two years, i discovered the joys of girldom. in my little hut i had ample time to play dress up, paint my nails crazy colors, and experiment with the meager supply of makeup i had brought. go figure that i left the states repulsed by skirts and frills and returned two years later with a new found love of my inner barbie. skirts, pink, and sparkles captured my imagination like never before.

naturally, having spent the majority of my formative years disregarding things like brushing my hair and wearing makeup, i was ill-prepared for my new self. i ambled through the drugstores seeking sparkles and pretties, but in reality i came home with a ramshackle assortment of nonsense that in no way resembled an adequate stash of beautifying accoutrements. lets be honest..wearing purple eyeshadow with green eyeliner and red lipstick only served to make me look like a clown. so i sought out the advice of my darling friend, who not only possessed superior cosmetics, but actually knew how to use them. unfortunately i was apparently untameable, because i still didnt see the harm in purchasing the 99cent specials from the wet & wild rack. yes, the makeup of middle school still held me in its grip. fast forward two years. the aforementioned lass puts me out of my misery, by applying my makeup for a stint as a bridesmaid. she made me look amazing. i was HOOKED. so then she drops the bombshell that was set to takeover my life. she tells me to wait until the department stores stock their holiday supplies, at which time she assures me i will be able to find some lovely eyeshadow pallets at prices that will be slightly less painful than other times of the year. and so begins my obsession.

my first holiday purchase was last year. after wandering through macys and nordstroms with my ever-patient pal, i discovered the dior counter where i bought the most darling little compact housing four perfectly classy and shimmery eyeshadows. i was in heaven. i have spent the last twelve months wearing nothing else. who needs a cupboard full of eyeshadow when you have this little delight?

still buoyed by my first foray into dreamy makeup, i decided to go back again this year. but this time i had a specific quest...shimmery pink. i went alone, which was my first mistake. after doing a bit of of online research i had two different products in mind. unfortunately, seeing these in person i was not satisfied. thus began the wander. unencumbered by the feeling that i was imposing on another person's time, i moseyed through two different cosmetic departments, circling the counters like a hawk. twice. to no avail. i remained empty-handed. and then the name "sephora" drifted into my head. i shuffled my little feet as fast as they would carry me to the mall directory. yes! sephora! straight ahead on the left.

entering sephora was mistake number two. that store left me speechless. a mass of makeup that i could try on without being hindered by beauticians wanting to make me look like them. fancy. so i happily wandered the aisles looking at shimmers and sparkles wondering which one was coming home with me. i tried on eye shadows like it was my job. one color would get wiped off just to be replaced by another. two hours. that's right. two hours. two hours i spent with eye shadows putting on, taking off, and putting on again until my eyelids were inflamed. i came home looking like a lopsided tramp with different colored shimmery shadows on each eye. super.

after all that i found myself at the dior counter once again buying their annual holiday compact. i bought it at macys because although i had discovered the delights of sephora, i didnt comprehend how truly amazing it is. they give you free samples! and birthday presents! whaaat? so i did what any self-respecting girl would do. i returned the compact to macys and bought it again on sephora.com to qualify for samples samples and more samples. according to the website my order is already packed and shipped. i can barely contain my excitement!

stitch me silly.

sewing. sewing. sewing. four skirts in two days. yes, i am aware that this might be a bit excessive, but i have determined that a self-imposed uniform is the wave of the future. that's right kids. a uniform for work. i do not want my employer to dictate what i wear, but i loathe the daily routine of selecting attire. it would seem that a voluntary uniform solves the problem. i get to wear what i want, but i don't have to think about it. a skirt and polo shirt. every day. is it possible? of course. considering the abbreviated "year" of my industry, if i maintain my current skirt output, it will only take me 90 days of stitchery madness to facilitate a daily wardrobe change. 180 skirts. hmmm...that is a plethora of skirts. currently sharing a closet with the mister. call me crazy, i do not think the mister will appreciate being squeezed out of our shared closet by 180 skirts. perhaps i could reduce the number. keep it within two digits? okay, 99 skirts. each one will be represented twice during the educational grind, with nine extra skirts to spice up my life. i can work with that.