shirr impossible.

last week was my spring break and i have a tradition of sewing my way through spring breaks. of course, this time around i am awfully pregnant, so 23 hours straight at the sewing machine was out of the question, but i did spend at least a few hours a day working the pedals. most of the time i was fussing over pringle's quilt, but once i was on a roll sewing circles, i had some spare time. i decided that it was imperative to make a long sundress. i hopped on the internet to search for an easy sundress pattern and well, the results were a bit less than fruitful. i mean, there were a LOT of dresses, but they all seemed to be for little girls.

the dress in my imagination.

soooo...i figured that since i like to act like a five-year-old, i might as well dress like one. i used this shirred dress tutorial, which is of course modeled by a little girl. no surprise there. now i do not know about you, but i have never shirred fabric. a few months ago i discovered a shirring tutorial and bought some elastic thread. i never actually sat down to do any shirring, so the elastic thread was still hanging around in my sewing bins. i dug out a gigantic piece of cloth i bought in lesotho in 2004. clearly it was time to use this gorgeous fabric. 

i have hoarded 5 meters of this fabric for 7 years. i like it. lots.

i cut out my pieces and sewed the sides together. and then i shirred. and shirred. and shirred. and shirred. ten inches of shirring later and i had the bodice of the dress complete.

shirring.

the shirred bodice.

unfortunately when i tried on the "dress" it looked about as awesome as a potato sack. not cute. so i cut off the bottom, added more material to make it ruffly, and then reattached it. now, when viewed from the front, it is definitely a dress, but then i turn to the side and well....it does not exactly show things off in grand style. rather it makes me look like a big-bellied whale with a gigantic arse. still not cute.

lovely dress that i cannot yet wear.

of course i convinced myself that if i washed the dress, the fabric would relax and it would all be golden. sadly, no. the dress is lovely, but it is decidedly NOT maternity wear. so i will be the cutest post-prego ever, but i still gots no long dress for wearing with the little pringle ensconced in my belly. but i have grand plans. i am going to make this dress again with floppy fabric that will drop straight down below the belly, rather than using the belly as a ramp to flip out an additional three feet. it is gonna be awesome. you'll see.

wonky windows #10.

it has become increasingly evident that my internal clock does not have a special alert for wednesday. as a result, i frequently forget to post my "wednesday windows" on wednesday. in an effort to avoid avoid false advertising, while still participating in this rather entertaining ritual, i am changing the name to wonky windows. i long ago fell in love with wonky quilts...probably because i just adore the word "wonky", so it seems apropos to get to use this term anytime i feel the need to share glimpses into my wonky (heehee) little world. so, with no further ado, the first installment of wonky windows...

THEME: reasons i might be 5.

(note: none of these pictures were taken through/via a window, but they ARE windows into my world).

i LOVE sugar. this picture was taken at school. it was the friday before my birthday, so ms. pumpky baked me cupcakes to celebrate. thanks to my unnatural obsession with sugar i have been known to out-sugar my five-year-old students. when handed a box of cupcakes, i was overjoyed to stuff my face with the sugary goodness. yummy!!!

i take a school picture EVERY year. sometimes two. one of the perks of being a teacher is the opportunity to get a complimentary school picture (probably a dubious perk, but a benefit nonetheless). although i almost always loathe these ridiculous pictures, i like things that are free, so i never fail to go in for my photo sitting. these are hands-down my least photogenic moments, but i keep going back for more. somehow on this particular day i actually managed to resemble myself. sort of. i am giving all credit to pringle for adding a little glow to my world (too bad he/she did not unquirk my eyebrows).

i dress like a kindergartner. i like to think that i look adorable and hopefully appropriate. but then five-year-olds, some of whom i do not even know, walk up to me to tell me that they love my shoes, my dress, my jacket... either this means that i am uber-stylish OR (and this is more likely) that i adorn myself in articles of clothing that appeal to small children. i mean seriously, what's wrong with a baby-doll dress, leggings, purple socks, and flowery corduroy shoes?

interested in participating in wonky windows? check out the instructions.

wednesday windows #3.

i am aware that today is thursday and this was supposed to be posted yesterday, but it didn't happen...give a girl a break.

today i happened upon an accidental theme: school.

this is a window into my afternoon. to raise money, my school has monthly dances where the kids pay $1 for 45 minutes of acting like wild animals. is it obvious that i hate supervising these "dances"?

i love creating things, so it should not come as a shock that my favorite time of the work day is art time. i am not one of those teachers that helps the kids create "perfect" art. nope, i give them directions and let them do the rest. not only am i overly fond of their wonky creations, i think it is a more genuine representation of the kids. this is a picture of menorahs they made after learning about hanukkah. i was planning to post a picture of their snowmen, but forgot to take the picture. i will have to post that tomorrow.

 

interested in participating in wednesday windows? check out the instructions.

the glories of youth.

i am a total kid. i act like a kid and i think like a kid. at least once a week i do something that leaves the people around me jokingly asking "how old ARE you?" i figure if they have to ask, they might as well get the real answer...five. i also spend 35 hours a week surrounded by five year olds, and apparently they are rubbing off on me.  

a couple weeks ago i found it imperative to buy bubblicious bubble gum. a necessity. when i was little i had an obsession with gum. my mom had to ration it, because if left to my own devices, i would have chewed my teeth right out of my head. thanks to all of my snapping and popping, my mom definitely spent a couple of afternoons cleaning gum out of my hair. as i write this, i am blowing bubbles. i am sure that before i finish this post, i will be cleaning shreds of bubble gum off of my face.

which reminds me of my family's annual christmas picture. the picture was always just my brother and i, and it was a fight every year. we argued over the clothing, location, etc. the worst part was my mom had this affinity for a "kiss" picture. cute and wonderful when we were toddlers. probably not the best idea when we were a bit older and fighting like cats and dogs. i was about ten, when my brother and i decided enough was enough. we refused the "kiss" picture, but agreed to blow bubbles with our gum and let the bubbles kiss. sounds strange, but it was kind of cute.

but back to the present. last week a colleague gave me a party favor bag from her daughter's ninth birthday party, which i happily accepted. i spent yesterday evening lying on the couch chomping my way through nine pieces of banana bubble gum. also inside the bag was a stick-on barbie tattoo. most adults would simply ditch this with the gum wrappers, but not i. oh no. this kid stuck the thing on my shoulder. it's still there and i kind of love it.

sometimes i have to admit that my childish ways can lead to some embarrassing moments, like the time some students caught me racing down the hallway trying to beat another teacher to the door. oops. but most of the time i am rather content in my neverending childhood.