wednesday windows #9.

this week's theme: the wonderful world of our condominium building.

when i moved into our condo, i was told that condo rules prohibit pets; however, there is one lady who has medical authorization to own a dog. i did not think anything of this fact. after a few weeks i met the lady and found her to be aggressively friendly. strange combination, but i have not other description. having been accosted by her multiple times over the last five years, including her yelling at me for not joining the condo board, loudly insisting that her large, growling, and barking dog (which may have been foaming at the mouth) was perfectly harmless, and running her hand down my leg at a meeting, i have since changed my opinion. she is simply crazy. after being harassed himself, even the mister, who is much less feisty than moi, finally had to agree. the lady is cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

it just so happens that her reserved parking spot #116 is right along the path from my parking spot to the building entrance. i used to cut through her spot (between her car and the column)...you know, shave a few seconds off of the journey to my house. but then pringle joined my adventures and i have had to learn to think for two. one day i realized that crazy lady technically owns that parking spot and i am not the least bit interested in introducing pringle to that world. since that epiphany, i have avoided the spot like the plague. or tried to. but occasionally when lost in my own thoughts, i find myself wandering through the corner of her spot. do i just forget it and continue? ummm...no. because apparently i am a little wacko myself. i have actually retraced my steps, as if that erases my tread into psycho territory, and walked back around the support column. anyone who observes this probably thinks that i belong in the loony bin, but i have to protect my young!

living in miami, i am constantly surrounded by people for whom english is a second language. the resulting english can be amusing. i am not gonna lie, it took me a minute to decipher the meaning of a "computer for car key," and still, i am only assuming that my analysis is correct.

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world cup fever.

i grew up in a house where soccer reigned supreme. my brother plays, at one time my mom coached, and my dad is a referee. somehow or another i was never bitten by the soccer bug. i was content with gymnastics and volleyball. to be fair, my mums only coached for one year when my brother was a wee little guy mesmerized by the bugs climbing up the side of the goal post that he was supposed to be defending. after her brief stint as a coach my mums returned to her first love...tennis. but to this day, soccer has maintained its grip on the males of my family. little did i know that i would one day marry a man who lives and breathes soccer.

needless to say, i was prepared for this world cup to be a big event in my life. this the first world cup the mister and i are experiencing together. this is also the first world cup to take place in africa, so my african husband's enthusiasm can certainly be described as fanatical. you are probably wondering why this affects me. well, we live in a small house and we only have one television. to make matters worse, the mister works 8am-4pm and the soccer matches all take place between those hours.

since i love the mister lots and lots, i went to goodwill and purchased a vcr. yup. everyone is getting rid of their vcrs and we are purchasing. go figure. sadly, while our remote is happy to control the basic functions of our "new" vcr, it is unwilling to delve into the wonderful world of timed recording. great. but who needs to set a timed recording when you have a wife at home to press "record." that's right kids. every morning i wake up at 9:55am to go to the vcr and press record. i go about my business and then at 2:25pm i change tapes and press record again.

oh and did i mention that i spend all day avoiding all mention of scores and soccer? you see, when he gets home, i love to discuss anything and everything with my husband. if i know the scores of the games he is about to watch, it is torturous to keep mum, so i do everything in my power to avoid knowing the scores. i was watching tennis today and they did a quick "sports rundown," which included discussion of the day's world cup matches...i turned into psycho lady standing in my living room yelling "nananananananananaannaana" so that i would avoid hearing the scores. that was the moment that i realized i was bitten by the soccer bug. i might not actually like soccer, but apparently i am stuck with it.

wonka wonka.

did someone say candy? yes. sugar is the word of the day. you have previously discovered my passion for candy, so imagine the sheer agony i experienced when i opened a good & plenty package and the pink and white nuggets did not slide into my outstretched hand. lacking anything resembling patience, i hastily clawed open the package and found a solidified mass of plenty. no good. i hung my head in despair.

chin up lassie! there is more candy in the cupboard. no self-respecting candy junkie buys a single box of candy. run run, go grab the sweetarts. yeeeeeeee! almost to the sugar rush. but wait. what's this? speckled and mushy discs? these are not sweetarts. i pour out more candy. same spots. same mush. have the candy gods forsaken me? am i no longer deserving?

at this point, my gloom has turned to indignation. immediately i accessed the websites listed on the candy boxes and hurled my complaints into cyberspace. within 24 hours hershey replied with an apology for my negative good & plenty experience and a promise to send a reimbursement. no word from nestle. but good things come to those who wait. 48 hours after i began my squawking, i received the following message from willy wonka (all names have been changed to protect the innocent):

Dear Pickel,

Thank you for contacting Wonka® SweeTARTS® Candy.

From what you are describing it appears to be malic acid spots. Malic acid is an ingredient which provides the tart flavor in the candy. Light or dark spots can occur when the color on the outside of the candy migrates toward or away from a granule of malic acid on the surface. You may also see a tiny cavity or indentation. This can be caused by storage in humid conditions. Although this appears unappetizing, it does not pose a health risk.

I would like to assure you that your experience has been reported to our Quality Assurance Personnel and I will be mailing full value coupons to the address that you provided. Please allow 7 to 10 business days for delivery.

It is also helpful to our Quality Assurance Personnel if you are able to provide the net weight in oz. of the package that you purchased and the name of the store where you purchased the product. Please email this information back to me at your convenience along with the reference number at the end of this email.

We appreciate the opportunity to explain this to you and hope you will visit our website often for the latest information on our products and promotions.


Sincerely,
Wonka Lady

Consumer Response Representative

holy cow! i can't decide if this is overkill or good-ole-fashioned incredible customer care. probably both. regardless, apparently our kitchen is not overly humid, because the little discs of packed sugar, while still speckled, have resumed their proper hardness. how do i know? i am eating them. i dont know what malic acid is, and while it sounds lethal, the wonka lady said it poses no health risk, so i figured that flinging the little sweets into the garbage would be a waste.