snack baggie tutorial.

are you still motivated to be green? no? then make yourself a snack baggie and you will want to be the greenest kid in your neighborhood!! this here is a tutorial to make as many snack baggies as your heart desires. these are fabric snack baggies, perfect for all dry snack-ums....pretzels, cheerios, jelly beans, etc. these baggies are not for storing snacks, because they have no ability to maintain freshness over extended lengths of time; however, they are perfect-O for packing yummy delights into lunches.

for those of you thinking that you could make these with a plastic lining, be warned...food-grade plastic is not readily available in fabric stores, so unless you want your snacks rubbing up against weird chemicals, stay away from random sewable plastic. you can certainly use food-ready plastic (large chip bags are a great option), but that is a tutorial in and of itself, so for this go-round i decided to keep things simple and stick to cotton fabric for both the outside and the lining.

now if you are like my mumsy you are thinking that this these baggies will be the perfect breeding ground for all sorts of bizarre bacteria. you might even try to refer me to dr. emory, as my mother did, to discover the number of pathogens that will inhabit my creations. no offense to all of you germ-a-phobes, but i think this is plain silly. you can make yourself lots of snack baggies and then wash them after EVERY use. personally i am planning to wash mine weekly. at the end of the week i will either drop the little guys into the laundry or wash them by hand and let them air-dry over the weekend. by the time monday morning rolls around the baggies will be dry. so if you're with me, then read-on!!

materials: two 12" squares of material (1 for the outside and 1 for the lining), a 6" piece of thin width elastic, and thread.

note: click on images to see them larger.

step 1. choose a light-weight cotton fabric. you can use the same fabric for both the outside and the lining or you can use different fabrics. i opted to use unbleached 100% cotton for the lining and a pretty 100% cotton fabric for the outside. these instructions will make a snack baggie that is about 7"x5". if you want to make your baggie a different size decide what size you want and then use the template [the template will be posted soon...i promise] to calculate the dimensions that you need to cut. the example calculations shown in the template are the calculations for the baggie i made.

step 2. cut out two 7.5" x 11.5" rectangles. one will act as the outside and one will be the lining. cut a 6" piece of elastic (i used 1/4" elastic). i will refer to the 7.5" sides as the "short sides" and the 11.5" side as the "long side."

step 3. find the center of one of the short sides and mark with a pin. with the right-side facing up, make a loop with the elastic and pin it in the center of the edge of the rectangles. place the lining fabric on top of the outside fabric, with right-sides together. (this step sounds confusing, but look at the picture - it should make sense).

step 4. sew down the short sides using a 1/4" seam allowance. as you cross the elastic, go back and forth a few times to reinforce the stitching.

step 5. pull the layers apart and reposition so that the seams you just sewed are lined up together. pin. sew the long sides, but make sure to leave a 1.5" gap on one side (this should be on the lining half of the bag). you will use this gap to turn the bag right-side out. you can see my gap on the bottom right corner of the third picture.

step 6. turn the bag right-side out through the gap/hole you left in one corner.

step 7. pin the gap. sew the gap closed. sew as close to the edge as possible.

step 8. tuck the lining inside the bag. press the top edge with your fingers and pin. then carefully stitch around the top edge. sew as close to the edge as possible.

step 9. fill with yummies. fold the top edge down and secure with the elastic wrapped around the bag. drop in your lunchbox and off you go!!

go greeeeeeen!

p.s. i got the idea to create reusable snack bags from here, but i created a different style bag to fulfill my dream.

killing the cat.

curiosity killed the cat. therefore i am blessed to not be a cat. i would be dead. i am too curious by far. about what you ask? everything. the latest was brought about by my previous post about kosher soda. out of deference to keri (who prefers pepsi, for reasons i am not taking the liberties to disclose) we will hereby refer to pepsi. she mentioned that HFCS (high fructose corn syrup for those of us who are not in the know) is not included in the kosher production of pepsi. which caused emory to ponder why HFCS is not  kosher. which caused me to go and figure it out. and i solved the riddle!! yay me.

a picture of our grape jelly, because it seemed inappropriate to include a picture of "that which is not pepsi"

are you ready? okay. let's start with the fact that as it turns out, high fructose corn syrup IS kosher. at least according to the OU kosher organization, who call themselves "the world's most recognized and trusted kosher trademark." okay. apparently they are also interested in world domination. and it is working, because they are the trademark from my earlier kosher post. so, why is HFCS kosher? well OU kosher starts with a commentary about the production of HFCS explaining that it is made by changing the molecular structure of corn syrup. uh huh. sure. and then somewhere near the end of the following snippet, we can deduce that it is kosher, because they admit to the fact that they cannot find any reason why HFCS is not kosher.

"The agent responsible for this dramatic change is called glucose isomerase. Although the production of glucose isomerase could theoretically involve kosher concerns (the raw materials may be derived from non-kosher material) the only producers of this sophisticated ingredient are, to the best of our knowledge, kosher-certified. It is thus unlikely that any nonkosher high-fructose corn syrup is on the market" (http://www.oukosher.org/index.php/common/article/good_sweet_year/).

so if HFCS is kosher then why the big hullabaloo creating kosher pepsi for passover? because folks who observe passover traditions are forbidden from ingesting fermented grains or grains which have been in contact with water for longer than 18 minutes. corn is a grain. high fructose corn syrup is derived from corn. pepsi is a liquid, so at some level it contains water. clearly the corn derivative is in contact with water for much longer than 18 minutes. put all or some (i am NOT a scientist people...bear with me) of that argument together and obviously HFCS cannot be consumed during passover.

"Any food or food product containing fermented grain products (Chametz) may not be used or remain in a Jew's possession on Passover. Even foods with minute amounts of Chametz ingredients, or foods processed on utensils which are used for other Chametz-containing foods, are not permissible for Passover use" (http://www.ou.org/chagim/pesach/pesachguide/maze/basic3.htm).

not surprisingly, pepsi is eager to play nice with customers, so they found a way for folks to observe passover AND still gulp down their beverages. long story short...the hubbub is entirely related to passover NOT to the consumption of HFCS the rest of the year. interestingly the throwback varieties of pepsi, which are made with real sugar instead of HFCS are kosher, but not kosher for passover. i have not yet found anything that answers why these are not kosher for passover. i have a feeling it has something to do with a non-kosher preservative.

"During Passover, Jewish law forbids the consumption or possession by Jews of all edible fermented grain products (Chametz) or related foods. Therefore, even foods and household products which meet the strict, year-round dietary regulations, and are considered Kosher, are nevertheless, often unacceptable, or require special preparation for Passover use in the Jewish home in order to be Kosher for Passover"  (http://www.ou.org/chagim/pesach/pesachguide/maze/basic7.htm).

i feel better now. i hope you do too. and i would like to thank the folks at OU kosher for providing such a wealth of information.

kosher coke.

i have never tried to keep kosher, which is probably a good thing, because it never ever ever ever ever would have dawned on me that i need to check my soda to see if it is kosher. but as declared by the orthodox union, certain parts of coke and diet coke meet kosher standards. good to know. but how many different parts of coke are there?

this letter was hanging from the coke shelf at the grocery store.

my question. the rabbi has certified coke for passover 2010. does that mean that after passover coke is no longer kosher? this is so confusing.

 and the coke marketing department gets in on the action. sweet.

just a softie.

since they might be the greatest method for using scraps, little creatures keep popping up. hello mr. hedgehog!! is that a wocket in your pocket?

little bits of happiness for everyone! thank you mollychicken.

last weekend all the necessary pieces finally lined up long enough for me to find my way to the local farmer's market. there is actually a company that coordinates six farmers markets in the surrounding megatropolis, four of which are within what i consider to be a "reasonable" distance. it should be noted that while it took me almost two years to unearth these potential gems, once discovered, it took me mere seconds to realize that arranging my appearance at one of these locales was about as likely as our fifth story apartment requiring the flood policy our insurance representative tried to sell us. why so difficult to go to a farmers market? oh boy, did you have to ask. well, for starters, the closest one is closed for half of the year, which is coincidentally the only half of the year that i ponder what my life would be like if i regularly attended farmers markets. the second closest one is open on saturdays, which is fine except that i only remember this fact on sundays. the third and fourth markets are in what i dub a "reasonable" distance, yet they are on sunday. a day on which my motivation hovers somewhere around lay-on-the-couch-all-day-watching-televsion, and the ten mile drive seems akin to a thirty-seven day camel trek across the sahara.

but the stars were aligned last weekend and the mister and i ventured down to south beach for a glimpse of the newest addition to the group of farmers markets. there was a lady selling soap, a man selling olive oil who did not seem to notice that his tasting dish was filled with suicidal flies, a smoothie stand, a ridiculously overpriced french bakery stall, one plant lady selling only two kinds of plants, and two farmers. not exactly the bustling farmers market that i am used to from my days living in los angeles, but i decided not to be picky.

being a plant-killer, i naturally fall madly in love with plants on first glance. i dont know what it is. some sort of chorophyllic magnetism. i simply love to buy plants. you might think we have a problem with finding space to put all the plants, but in actuality i kill them so fast, this issue never arises. so i saw this little gem, which reminds me a whole lot of the spiral aloe found in lesotho, and lucky for both of us, the mister was present to offer instant approval on a non-food purchase (remember i am banned from shopping). yahoo!

so we get home and i plop the little guy on the table, but quickly realize that the poor thing will have to live in the crappy plastic pot in which it arrived, because buying a new pot would constitute more shopping. damn damn damn. oh the misery of it all. i tried to make it better by putting it on a gold coaster. sadly, this only served to make the plastic container that much more depressing. but, lady luck was on our side this lovely sunday, because i rode my bike to the grocery store, which thankfully led me off my usual path and right past the dumpsters on the west side of our building. i spotted a withered and dying lucky bamboo sitting in a pot next to the garbage. i told you it was a lucky day. especially lucky that i am the kind of girl who sees nothing amiss with acquiring worldly possessions at the dumpster.

after hacking away all the lucky bamboo, dumping out the contents of the pot, and giving the pot a scrub scrub with sandpaper, our wee little plant has a new home. since i am not exactly a professional gardener, i decided to leave the guy in his original plastic pot, which i propped up on rocks to provide drainage. wowee zowee, if i keep talking like that i might be able to convince some folks i know how to keep this plant alive. uh huh. sure. anyhow, end result is that the little man looks rather handsome in his new white pot. and this was another environmentally friendly adventure as i decided to REUSE the pot that an anonymous neighbor discarded.

i think i am going to name the guy mr. green. not only because he is part of our current "go green" theme, but also because maybe, just maybe, if he hears the word green every time i talk to him, he will remember that his leaves are supposed to be green, even if i forget to give him water. welcome to our home mr. green!

chicken love.

waste not, want not. when it comes to fabric, no scrap is too small to find its way into a project, so i never throw out cloth. thanks to my handy dandy storage boxes i have a place to keep all of my bits no matter how bitty they might be. i even have a box that holds what most would would consider to be garbage, namely bits of thread and fabric that are smaller than a pea. in general i do not consider myself to be a hoarder, but i figure that using every last fragment of fabric is environmentally friendly. speaking of saving the world...i am even incorporating reduce, reuse, recycle into my world of sewing. the mister does not yet know it (although plastering it on the internet is a surefire way for him to find out), but one of his holey undershirts was dismantled. the large chunks went into the closet as dust rags and everything else was tossed into storage box #12 to be REcycled into a shmancy sewing project.

hmm...what to do with the armholes of an undershirt? cut into teeny chunks and voila...stuffing. 

stuffing for what? a chicken. naturally. i found this blog mollychickens that has a header image of ten positively adorable chickens. although she doesn't include a tutorial for the chickens, i used her love bird tutorial to make a love chicken. cute, eh? pumpky, this one's for you!!

shopping bag tutorial.

my writing seems to wander through themes and apparently the current theme is "go green." it only makes sense that i decided to make some reusable grocery bags. the mister and i already have gads of reusable grocery bags, but i have been thinking about making these for other people. i thought that for gifts it would be best to create a set of bags with a little carrying pouch. since i am not only a fan of reusable commodities, but also a HUGE fan of free sewing tutorials, i decided to write a tutorial for sewing a shopping bag (the pouch is not included in this tutorial). now this is my first try at tutorial composition, so please be patient and definitely let me know if something does not make sense. ready or not, here we go.

materials: 1.5 yards medium-weight fabric, thread, and safety pin.

note: click on images to see them larger.

step 1. choose a medium-weight fabric. these instructions will create two tote bags that are approximately 19"x13.5". if you want to make your bag a different size, decide what size you want to make your bag and use the template to calculate the dimensions you need to cut. the example calculations shown in the template are the calculations for the bag i made.

step 2. cut out a 35.5"x20" rectangle for the bag. cut out two 3.5"x24.5" rectangles to make the straps.

[steps 3-7 will guide you through creating a french seam, which is delectable because it is a seam that leaves no raw edges of fabric. if you are struggling with my directions, then check out this lovely tutorial at colette patterns.]

step 3. fold the large rectangle in half with wrong sides together. sew down the sides using a 1/4" seam allowance.

step 4. cut off 1/8" of the seam allowance, so you are left with a 1/8" edge.

step 5. iron the seam to one side. DO NOT iron the seams open.

step 6. turn the bag inside out. wiggle the corners so they completely turn inside out. iron the side seams flat.

step 7. sew a 1/4" seam (french seam tutorials will tell you to do a 3/8" seam on this step, which i am sure is great. i just chose to do a smaller seam and you can also choose to do what you like. fancy.) the inside of your bag should now have a seam with a finished edge that will not fray.

step 8. turn the bag right-side out. now we need to square the bottom. we need to square each corner by pulling the front and back layers of the bag apart and flattening the side of the bag to the bottom of the bag. line up the side seam with the crease running down the center of the bottom.

step 9. measure 2.5" from the corner of the triangle (i use the diagonal on my square ruler to make sure this triangle is properly squared, but you can use a ruler and eyeball it.) draw a line with tailor's chalk. this line should be perpendicular to the side seam/bottom crease. pin along the line to make sure the fabric does not shift. repeat this process with the other corner.

step 10. sew along the chalk line. cut 1/8" from the sewing line. repeat with the other corner. turn the bag inside-out. wiggle the edge until the corners are completely turned inside-out. sew 1/4" seam. repeat with the other corner. (we are once again creating french seams.)

step 11. fold the straps the long ways, with right sides together. sew down the length with a 1/4" seam allowance. turn the straps inside out. the easiest way to do this is to attach a safety pin to one end and then feed it through the tube and pull until the tube turns right-side out. i am a high-falutin lass, so i use a bodkin to do my turning (that's the adorable doohickey in the picture).

step 12. press the straps flat. tuck the ends inside and sew down the edge, so the edges will stay tucked in.

step 13. turn the bag inside out. make a hem along the top of the bag by folding the top edge of the bag down and pressing. this should be about 1/4" to 1/2". in the picture, my hem is about 3/8".

step 14. turn the bag right-side out. flatten out the bag. find the center of the bag and mark it with a pin. measure 3.25" to either side of the center and mark with pins. do this on both sides of the bag. then to avoid confusion in the next step, take out the center pin (see picture with step 15).

step 15. line up the top edge of your strap with the top edge of the bag, and the inside edge of your strap with one of the pins. secure the strap with pins. then let the loop of the strap hang down towards the bottom of the bag (this seems strange, but the straps will be "flipped up" into their final position in the next step -- in the picture the bottom of the bag is at the top of the picture, sorry for the confusion), and pin the other end of the strap next to the other pin. if you have completed this step correctly, there will be about 6.5" between the two ends of your strap. repeat this process with the second strap on the other side of the bag.

step 16. carefully turn the bag inside-out again. fold the top edge down 1.25". MAKE SURE the 1/4" hem you turned down in step 13 is still tucked under. press and pin. the straps should now be "flipped up" so that they are they will be ready for hanging on your shoulder.

step 17. sew the large hem at the top of the bag by sewing twice around the bag. once 1/8" from the bottom edge of the hem and once 1/8" from the top edge of the hem. as you are sewing this hem, MAKE SURE the loops of the straps are out of the way. otherwise you will end up with the middle of your strap attached to the side of the bag.

step 18. reinforce the straps. mark an X where the strap meets the bag. sew a box and an X inside of it to reinforce the attached strap. [tip: when you need to turn sharp corners, such as sewing the box or the X, sew down one edge. when you reach the corner, leave the needle securely embedded in the fabric, raise the presser foot, spin the fabric, drop the presser foot, and sew the next edge.

congratulations!! you have made a lovely shopping bag. you can add a personal touch by sewing your own tags into the bag. i got my tags at namemaker.com. french seams. personalized tags. it does not get much more fancy than this! now that you know how to make the bag, you can use the remainder of your fabric to make a second bag.

 

gift idea: sew a set of bags and create a little pouch to hold the bags.

i created my pouch using this tutorial from mairuru. so cute. since i did not want the inner pocket, i used the same size rectangle for the lining as i did for the outside fabric. i also attached my button and tie closure before assembling the bag. i guess i just discovered that my next tutorial.

happy sewing!!!

brown bagging in style.

i like to think of myself as a person who puts in some semblance of an effort to be environmentally friendly. i participate in recycling, i bring my own bags to the grocery store, and sometimes i use my bike instead of my car. so naturally when it came to deciding how to bring my lunch to work, i clearly selected the reusable bag option. my search started in target, where i discovered that insulated lunch bags cost $10-15. whaaaaat?!?!?! that was not gonna work for me. luckily i found a rather wimpy, but serviceable bag at another store for only $3. 

this bag proved to be a bit of a challenge as reusable food containers were not typically inclined to fit inside. somehow the mister has not had such difficulties, so after almost two years in my care, this flower-encrusted bag was passed on to him for his culinary needs. it does not take a genius to realize i was thrilled when the p.t.a. at my school decided to give all the teachers an insulated lunch bag. a bag big enough to hold all my favorite food containers. yahoo! at the time i did not realize that this bag would not last long in day-to-day life with yours truly. the bag's demise started when the lining started separating from the bag. eventually it was so bad i ripped out the lining. i was not prepared for what i found. a crumbling layer of floppy foam that also had to be removed. the end result? goo. it was at this point that i added "lunch bag" to my list of sewing projects.

 

a few months later a fellow blogger shared her adventures sewing these "buckets" from the stitchin chicken. at the time, although i recognized that they were a clever creation to bookmark in the noggin, i had no idea that these buckets would factor into my lunch bag conundrum. but yesterday i had an epiphany. the buckets are designed to maintain their shape via the insertion of batting, which could double as insulation. voila, a lunch bag!! luckily, months back, upon the downfall of my p.t.a. bag, i had added rain-gear fabric to my stash for the eventual day when i would create a new lunch bag. so, on the heels of my inspiration, i quickly decided on dimensions and got to work creating my template and cutting out my fabric.

since this is a lunch bag, i made a few modifications. i added a pocket to hold my utensils, elastic straps to hold my water bottle upright, a strap and button to hold the bag closed, and longer handles for carrying. the final product makes me squeal with joy. i am actually eager for the weekend to end, so i can use my new lunch bag. okay, fine i do not want the weekend to end early, but i definitely think that i might now have in my possession the world's most adorable lunch bag.

finders keepers, losers weepers.

throughout the course of my life, people have been griping at me to stop walking with my eyes on the ground. various reasons have been given, but the favorite seems to be that i am ruining my posture. i expect that these folks imagined i would grow up with some massive poor-posture-induced deformity. i saw no reason to follow the advice to lift my eyes from the ground. after all i could stare my fellows in the face and wander about with my head in the clouds OR i could keep my eyes on the prize...the coins that mysteriously find their way to sidewalks. yup, i am the kid who picked up coins. i still am. perhaps some see this as a sad existence..eyeing endless avenues of cement in the hopes of finding two or three cents, but i find absolute delight in the discovery of FREE money. typically my finds are pennies, but as any coin-picker-upper knows, there are occasional nickels and dimes and even the rare quarter. i have been duped by random bits of metal and even once in south beach, a nickel glued to the ground (sob!), but most of my finds are a financial boost.

two sundays ago (valentine's day to be exact) i wandered to the grocery store in the evening. i stepped out of my car and as per usual had my eyes on the ground. i started walking to the store when a glint on the ground caught my eye. yesssss! and then i looked closer. this was not a coin. no sireee bob, it was a bracelet. a sort of gaudy silver bracelet with a heart. not exactly my style, but i pick it up and drop it in my pocket. i figure i might as well take it home, because i can dismantle it and use the bits and pieces to create new jewelry. perhaps i should think about the person who lost the bracelet, but no. i am a horrible wench. i have absolutely no sympathy. i find the purty bauble, and you cry. too bad, so sad. i did my grocery shopping and headed home. by the time i arrived home i would have forgotten about the bracelet if it was not banging around in my pocket.

 

just for kicks i take it out and give it a cursory glance to check for the tell-tale "925" designating it as sterling silver. needless to say i was completely shocked to find "tiffany & co. 925." uh. wow. suddenly the bracelet seems rather stylish! i might have limp-noodle posture, but i am now the proud owner of a tiffany bracelet. happy valentine's day to me!!!!!

bohobe.

i am still coming to grips with the fact that i am a capable cook. i did not grow up in the kitchen. well actually, that's not true. i DID grow up in the kitchen, but i was stealing cookies, not cooking. in the last few years i have not only become comfortable in the kitchen, i have actually become obsessive. pair that with a desire to do less shopping and suddenly i find myself baking our daily bread. whaaaaat?!?! yup-a-roni. like my current shopping reductions it all started during my peace corps service, where i learned how to bake bread on the stovetop. this education was strengthened by my peace corps mom. she quickly seized on my clay wedging skills, transferring them to kneading bread dough. in the process, she also taught me how to make bread in the oven. so now, armed with my limited bread making experience and my overzealous kitchen confidence i decided it was high time i start baking bread. after all, how hard could it be?

i did a little internet searching and found the ny times no-knead bread recipe that was supposed to be foolproof. it was. the first time. the loaf turned out so lovely it was featured in a january post. the second  attempt resulted in a gooey sticky mess that refused to do anything it was supposed to do. i chalked that up to letting the dough sit with a lid over the bowl rather than the requisite plastic wrap. fine fine. as it was an unrecoverable failure i dumped it in the garbage with little fanfare. bye bye yucky dough. after having discovered my plastic wrap "mistake" i confidently started on attempt three. twenty hours later i discover that it too failed. foolproof? either i am a fool, which is certainly possible, or this recipe is not proofed. with a bit of research i have come to the conclusion that my use of bread flour was likely my downfall - apparently when a recipe says "all-purpose flour", you are supposed to actually USE all-purpose flour. right then, no bread flour when making bread. huh? well that makes no sense. i need a recipe that fits in to my logic-based world. after some more internet searching, i opted for a lovely beginner's bread recipe. it does require kneading, but i find this to be a relaxing process. the bonus is that from start to finish only takes about 3 hours. not bad for homemade bread. after three successful loaves of bread, i think this is the recipe for me. i am not yet exactly sure about the economics behind it all, but it seems that i will be able to extract six loaves of bread from a bag of flour, so no matter how you slice it, there is a whole lotta money savings going on. better yet, we are eating good in this neighborhood.

death to shopping.

four and a half years ago i returned from my two year tour as a peace corps volunteer in lesotho. my experience in southern africa was life-changing and mind-altering, but somehow living in a tiny village, in a mud hut with no electricity or running water, was not enough to extinguish my yearning for STUFF. what stuff? any stuff. don't get me wrong..i joined the peace corps, not a nunnery, so while i lived a simple life, i did not see a need to completely eradicate consumption. whenever i went to town i invariably wandered through shops to peruse all the goodies and often ended up buying things that were far from necessary. on one hand i was supporting the local economy, on the other hand i was simply engaging in the consumerism that comes so natural to americans. you can take the girl out of america, but apparently you can't take the america out of the girl. at least not this girl.

before i left lesotho, i promised myself that i would do my best to continue living a simple life. nothing extreme...i was not about to turn down living in a house with electricity and indoor plumbing, but i wanted to try life with less possessions (not zero possessions, just less, less, less). upon reentry into the united states i felt that immediate tug to consume like a starving glutton. on my first day back i went to target. it was like sending a lamb to the slaughter - i wanted EVERYTHING. then within my first 12 months, i bought a car, acquired furniture, and bought a condo. and i have been wallowing in the murky waters of consumerism ever since. i might not yet be in need of a twelve-step program, but i am surely on my way to being addicted to shopping.

since i have no desire to be featured on the discovery channel as a hoarder, this past friday i drew the proverbial line in the sand. i have forbidden myself to go shopping. the only exceptions are food and any other items which the mister and i agree are needed. my goal is to save my time, my money, and my sanity. most importantly this will present me with a little more time and energy to enjoy the things that we already have. since my declaration i have cleaned up the clutter that was taking over our house and happily unearthed goodies about which i had forgotten. like a scandalous quantity of tea light candles -- thank you ikea. candles make me feel warm and fuzzy, so the past few days i have been merrily burning my way through our heap of candles. i have barely made a dent. i also rediscovered a stash of coasters. i dont know about you, but my mum ingrained in me that one must always use coasters. not surprisingly, i get excited about the wee little buggers. little did i realize how many we have acquired. so now my curiosity is overwhelming. i cannot wait for the myriad of possibilities that await me within the world of stuff that is our home. i am going shopping...in our closet.

bananito.

a few days ago i was at the grocery store, in the produce section to be exact. i was totally engrossed in my efforts to pick the perfect apples for the mister. he likes any varieties that have that marbled red & yellow coloring, but prefers honeycrisps and pacifics, which seem to be available only three days a year. he also wants BIG apples. not regular sized apples, but the mondo probably-grown-with-steroids kind of apples. i have tried to figure this out to no avail. i once suggested that when ginormous apples are unavailable he could take two small apples. i was given the look of divine patience.  you know the one when they look at you and summon a heavenly calm, before lowering themselves to the dubious task of having to explain the mundane to a mortal. right then. BIG apples. got it.

anywhooo..i was merrily minding my own business selecting some large and unbruised fujis, when a lady called out to me from the banana display. she was holding up a tiny yellow blob and asked me if i had ever tried one. i am quite certain i gave her an utterly blank look. not out of disrespect, but out of sheer ignorance. i had absolutely no idea what she was holding. she explained that it is a baby banana and her friend "just loves them." since i was unable to give her any type of recommendation, she made the wise decision to buy one figuring if she loved it she could come back and get more. well now of course i have abandoned my pursuits with the mister's apples and am entranced by these little darlings. also called nino bananas, ladyfinger bananas, stubby bananas, and  finger bananas. they lack the graceful arc of a traditional banana, favoring a more rotund appearance similar to large and pudgy fingers (hence some of the nicknames), but they are unmistakably bananas.

at this point curiosity absolutely wins and i have no choice but to buy a baby banana myself. in fact, i buy two. one for me and one for the mister. he is a funny cat, sometimes he wants nothing to do with my food finds and other times he feels sadly neglected if i do not buy one for him. i erred on the side of caution and bought him his very own baby banana. i am sure you are all dying to know how a baby banana tastes and well....it tastes like a banana.

declutterization.

it has been about a year since i felt any inclination to clean our house. wait, let me try that again, lest you think that the hubby and i are living in filth. to rephrase, it has been a loooooong time since i had any motivation to put away all the nonsense that finds its way into our living space. the mister regularly (okay, semi-regularly) cleans the house, as in sweeps, dusts, mops, etcetera. unfortunately, he is not typically given to putting away "stuff." clearly it does not help that yours truly is a wee bit particular about how and where things are put away.

the end result is that we start creating little heaps of things. unfortunately those collections are like the spawn of the devil, because they grow and grow until they have babies and the next thing you know, you are living in a house of heaps. everywhere you turn there is a conglomeration of stuff that is wanting to be dealt with. needless to say, after twelve months we had about oodles of these jumbled collections.

but NO MORE! as if by magic, i woke up on saturday morning with a sudden inclination to put everything away and get rid of all the stuff we do not need. whaaat?!?!?! yes. you read that correctly. i am not sure what prompted this, but i went with it and surprisingly, this impulse persisted throughout the weekend. thus far i have cleared off the dumping grounds otherwise known as our kitchen counter and dining room table, whisked away the chaos that was the top of our dressers, reorganized my entire paper stash (gasp!! although some might think it as muddled as ever), and rearranged our "office." next up? the closets. ah well, if this motivation persists, i might need to pursue a second job, otherwise you might come knocking at our door and find us living in an empty shell. maybe then my life would qualify for the 100 things challenge. sadly, short of exempting my crafting supplies from the challenge, which would probably be considered cheating, i am probably incapable of living without all my goodies. i love the notion of simple living, but hate the reality.

cook-a-rama.

i cant seem to stop cooking. last week i got myself all riled up wanting to make rice. so i dug through four cookbooks until i finally settled on a recipe for rice pilaf in a vegetarian cookbook that the mister and i got as a wedding present. the hubby, who is typically blase about the process of choosing what's for dinner, saw the picture and requested that i double the recipe. the ingredient list should have been fair warning that i was in over my head, but the mister's enthusiasm was contagious. so we went to the grocery store and circled the aisles like hawks, on the look-out for cumin seeds and green cardamon pods. no luck. so we stopped by a wee produce store that often has some of the more exotic spices available in the unground format. we found a little baggy only about 1/4 full of cumin seeds and suitably inexpensive. perfecto. and then we found the cardamon pods. a bursting full bag of cardamon seeds. did i mention that the recipe only called for eight pods? this baggy had somewhere upwards of five hundred! and it cost a small fortune. the mister and i looked at each other thinking the same thought...is it really stealing if we just take eight little pods? umm...YES! we are NOT going to jail for eight cardamon pods. just when i was gathering up my gumption to ask the clerk if we could buy eight pods, the mister dropped the baggy. cardamon pods scattered in every direction. the desire to scoop up eight and disappear was overwhelming, but once again my conscience inserted itself into the chaos and said "no, no, and NO." okay fine. so now instead of merely asking the clerk if we can buy eight pods, i have to inform her that my darling husband dumped a bag of the blasted beasties on the floor. interestingly, by this point my shame had flown the coop, and i gamely asked her if we could buy the pods singly. she looked at me as if i had just asked her to lick the floor and replied simply, "no." do i need to tell you that our rice pilaf was free of cardamon pods? we finally headed home, cooked up the rice with only a few major hiccups, and enjoyed the lovely delicacy. and let me tell you, it was lovely.

of course, hunting through my cookbooks embedded the cooking bug in my brain and exposed me to a whole host of recipes i wanted to try. so last sunday i continued my rice obsession and cooked up some stir fry. found an absolutely scrumptious stir fry sauce recipe. the food turned out delectable...this mister is not a huge fan. so sad. but not to worry...i also made noodle kugel. absolutely no relation between the two dishes. in fact the thought of eating both in the same sitting makes me want to vomit. sadly, the noodle kugel did not turn out as well as i had hoped and not surprisingly, the hubster requested that i not make this again. so essentially, we have a refrigerator full of not-so-yummy delicacies. great.

despite last weekend's kitchen failures, i was not daunted. yesterday i came to the conclusion that i absolutely HAD to make cinnamon rolls. so i did. we now have about five pounds of sugary, buttery, gooey wonderfulness hanging out in our fridge. as if that wasnt enough for one evening, i also decided that i wanted to make bread. sure sure. no problem. so i searched for "easy bread recipe" and found this recipe. turns out it is the brainchild of a new york baker, who's "minimalist bread" was featured in this ny times article. took 24 hours, but i officially made the most amazing loaf of bread i have ever produced (see the picture...yes, yes, that is the one that i made!!!). clearly, i have joined the masses who think that this recipe is miraculous. and as if creating cinnamon rolls and a beautiful boule were not enough, i also made red pepper risotto and fried chicken. somebody stop me. i need a twelve step program, because i am addicted to cooking.

nitrocellulose cotton.

nail polish is somewhere on my list of the top ten products available in the consumer world. i love nail polish. and when i say love, i mean L-O-V-E, love. i am not sure how many bottles i have purchased in my lifetime, but the number certainly reaches into the hundreds. this obsession started when i was a child. for most of my life i avoided makeup, but nail polish always held me in a trance. throughout my adolescence i painted my nails regularly. by regularly, i mean three or four times a week. if i was wearing a red shirt, there was a good chance i was compelled to have red nails. right. between all of my daily activities and responsibilities, finding time for this kind of fingertip upkeep was a challenge. but then i discovered that i could paint my nails in bed and let them dry as i slept. perfect-O!!

but one thing impeded this process. the female parental unit. apparently when my mums said 10 o'clock was my bedtime, she meant that i should go to sleep at that time, rather than get in bed and paint my nails at that time. she was like a hound dog on a trail the way she could smell the nail polish all the way from the kitchen, but when she would come to check on me i would be laying on my stomach with my arms under my pillow - surely i had not just painted my nails? a few years ago i finally confessed and told my mums all about how i circumnavigated her bedtime rules. i put my arms under my pillow with my hands sticking out the other end. then i painted my nails and went to sleep. when mums came to check on me, i appeared to be sleeping on top of my hands, which from her view would mean that there was no way i had just applied polish. right. as you can see, my desire to decorate my nails far has always hovered in the realm of ridiculous.

i am sure you will not be shocked to know that despite yearly attempts to jettison the excess, my hoard of bottles had grown rather large. about three years ago, in order to avoid spending my entire salary on little glass bottles of goodness, i resolved to forcibly subdue the alarming growth of the collection. i instituted a few restrictions. i could only purchase a single brand. the winner? maybelline express finish. the rules? i had to throw away every bottle that did not fit the single criteria. whilst shopping i can buy as many bottles as i want, as long as it is this one brand. gifted bottles are not subject to the criteria (i just invented this glorious rule, because one of my lovely friends gave me a bedazzling assortment of juicy colors for christmas!!). so far so good.
the restrictions have certainly curtailed my purchasing, especially since maybelline hardly ever introduces new colors. grrr. if i had known of this in advance, i likely would not have selected this brand, although this fact has certainly alleviated my inclinations to constantly hunt for new hues. the current stockpile consists of only thirty five different colors. an adequate assortment to keep me amused and a small enough quantity that it all fits in a single drawer. but now rather than spend all of my time choosing which bottle to buy, i spend all my time determining which color to wear. since i am almost never without my painted nails, this is a weekly debate. seriously time consuming, especially as i am hampered by my own indecision. i put a different color on each finger and then make a selection. i color my nails with that selection and almost without fail i change my mind. it is a painful process. luckily i have a color consultant, miss pumpky. she does not seem to tire of issuing color decrees and never fails to provide these judgments instantly and decisively. thank goodness!! tonight's verdict? hot pink. apparently its going to be an exciting week.

c-c-c-c-c-cold.

i want my money back. i bought the miami dream complete with warm and fuzzy winters and now i am stuck in the neverending clutches of arctic cold fronts. thats right kids. as if the freezing temperatures all week were not enough, there is now a wind chill and frost advisory in effect AND the temperatures are supposed to exhibit a "drastic drop" on saturday. uhh...how much lower can we go? and how many more days do i have to go to work in my goofy striped hat? i mean, please...i don't have a lot of "grown up" stock to begin with..forcing me to wear my stripey beanie hat to work is NOT helping.

i dont know pete, but for his sake, we need our weather back. our electric bill is going to go through the roof, because we discovered that our a/c is also a heater. thank goodness for this, but really?!?! i am one of the odd ducks who actually relishes the ghastly humidity of miami summers (there is something divine about being blissfully warm even in the wee hours of the night), but seriously, putting up with the psycho humidity of miami summers should earn me bragging rights in the dead of winter. instead, all day i've been haunted by angelenos raving about their 74 degree afternoon as i sit shivering in my nineteen layers.

there is only one saving grace here. my future nephew is due to arrive in the city of angels any day now. perhaps the higher powers have decided to clear the air so he can come into this world under a ray of golden sun. in that case, i suppose i can suffer through a few more days of frostbite. let's be honest...i look kinda adorable in my snow hat.

eggnog heaven.

many of you are probably aware that starbucks features a few special drinks during the holiday season. although you might not realize that in december i have virtually no ability to resist the impulse to steer my way towards the nearest starbucks location to procure a delectable eggnog latte. this year i avoided the beverage for a significantly longer time than i ever have in the past, not succumbing to the temptation until the second week of december. however, despite my late entry into drinking the holiday concoctions, i nonetheless outdid any of my previous performances. in the short amount of time i had to gulp my way through these ridiculously expensive renditions of coffee, i put a shameful dent in my bank account. as if i am the queen of sheba, in a mere 2.5 weeks of drinking these delights, i spent $68.18. gasp! me thinks that a libation made of gold would not cost more. the mister and i are thankful that these delights are only on offer a few months out of the year. if this was a year-round beverage, i am quite certain i would slurp us out of house and home.